Today on Medium I discuss my client’s story. Sherry gave me her permission to talk about our sessions as she wants other people to understand that all is not lost after dealing with a very difficult breakup.
“There can definitely be love again when you take the right steps to allow yourself to get there.”
Sherry shares what she learned during our four months together and how she moved forward in a healthy way, which eventually led her to happiness with a new partner one year after her ex broke her heart.
Sometimes those tough scenarios lead you to a much better pathway of where you are meant to be. Of course, you don’t see that at all in the early stages when your heart is shattered into a million pieces!
The learning curve of life has many obstacles, but “The Universe” is always there to help you reach your highest good. ❤
What 11 things did Sherry Learn during her painful breakup?
- Owning your part in the choices you make is a big piece of the healing process and it will help give you clarity. Something attracted you toward your partner and you were brought together to learn something about yourself or for them to learn about themself. Sometimes we are the teacher and that is our purpose during our time with certain people in our life. We are in charge of who we let in.
- Loving someone teaches you that you can love and be loved.
- Lust doesn’t always evolve into love. Jumping into bed too quickly can really play with your mind and distort your feelings.
- Taking responsibility and understanding what you shared or didn’t share together as a couple during your time together. What was great and what was missing?
- Making time to grieve is all part of the process to help you move forward. It’s OK to cry, be angry, or be sad. Standing outside the relationship and looking back in can really help you see why things didn’t work out.
- We don’t always grow together as a couple. As difficult as it is when your relationship ends, the timing just means that there is someone much better for you coming your way!
- There is always something important and valuable to take with you from each relationship you have. They were in your life for a reason.
- Always have boundaries and similar expectations about what you want together as a couple. Get to know someone’s character before you sleep with them.
- TRUST that “the universe has your back!” A great quote and book from the amazing Gabrielle Bernstein!
- Don’t expect the heartbreak to go away in a month. Taking time to “check-in” with your emotions and actually deal with them, will help clear the way to taking any of this emotional debris into your next relationship. Buried feelings will always resurface down the road if you don’t clear them out.
- Love shouldn’t be that hard. If there are always obstacles to jump around in your relationship, it probably isn’t the right fit. You don’t have to force things to work if it is a committed and reciprocated partnership.
Forgiving yourself is very important.
We can be really hard on ourselves after a breakup which often results in a “sabotaging belief” where we don’t feel worthy of having love in our life. It is a punishment and personal payback for what we feel we messed up in our past relationship.
Some people get angry and defensive after a breakup while others become withdrawn and removed due to feeling that they failed. They take fault for what transpired and they don’t trust their own judgment anymore. “It’s easier just to cocoon at home than to have to go through that again!”
It isn’t very often that people only have one love in their lifetime, so taking on a defeatist attitude really isn’t warranted. There is absolutely no reason to think that you won’t find love again, but if you keep posting negative thoughts outwards, that may end up being precisely what you do receive.
Your bruised ego is not your friend at this time. Do not let it control your thoughts moving forward.
Sherry’s final words to her Ex. Thank You for breaking up with me because…
- Looking back now I realize we wouldn’t have worked long term. There were too many things that were different between us. Our values and life goals were on opposite sides of what was important to each of us.
- Our breakup made me look deeper within myself and see some of the changes I needed to make.
- Sex is only a part of a healthy relationship!
- I always put your needs way ahead of my own and allowed myself to be clingy and needy. Not a trait I ever want to see in myself again!
- I gave up a big part of myself for you, including my friends and family!
- You leaving me as abruptly as you did, made me wake up and learn to respect myself and have much bigger boundaries.
- And the biggest thank you of all my dearest Ex, is that when you walked away from me, it led me to meet the amazing man that I am now in a very loving partnership with! Thank you so much for dumping me, from the bottom of my once broken heart.
Please watch the video below
Sybersue xo ❤
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours.